The List…

“And now we welcome the new year.
Full of things that have never been.”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Just before every New Year’s, I create something called “The List” … a list of what I fully intend to have in my life by the following holiday season. It has always been amazing to watch them come to fruition over the years … and to learn and understand if, or when, they don’t. This year was no different. These last 12 months held more challenges and growth than I ever could have anticipated, yet it was also replete with a wealth of incredible new experiences, sweet memories and blissful tears. Little could I imagine all that was to lie ahead as I watched the snow fall outside my door when I was in Durango last December. Little could I realize that the road would have me once again return to New Mexico, and then call me back to New York where I began that incredible journey – The Ride – 26,000 miles and 23 months before.

This year held two very distinct and diverse chapters: In winter and spring, I saw sights and meandered trails that kept the soul in silent awe, whether standing at the rim of 800′ high gorges or watching ravens dance in cobalt skies between snow covered peaks and towering pinyons. I washed my hands in the icy rushing waters of the Animas and the warmth of the Rio Grande; I walked dusty trails gnarled by gangly limbs of 100 year old sagebrush, the stillness so deep one’s breath shatters the air like a locomotive whistle. I sashayed to new rhythms, savoured new food and drink, laughed and cried with friends now 2,000 miles away. And in summer, I began the trek back to where it all began.

Sitting in Durango, lifting a glass to the stars last New Year’s Eve, I never thought my life would change – yet again – so deeply. Now, a short 12 months later, I find myself committed to a job I love, with people I love, and living in a sweet little apartment in a town filled with farmers, Amish, and cheery life-long residents. This second chapter of 2017 has presented shifts and transformations that, I admit, have taken me by surprise. A new and stronger voice, projects and people never imagined, and a true understanding that today is all we have … we cannot predict the road ahead, nor should we; and to be open to the changes that come brings a joy and growth beyond today’s vision.

In 2017, I sighed through nights of sweet repose, and mourned the mornings when sleep did not bother to stop by. My heart danced with delight and the music of beginnings, and wept in the muted sorrow of endings. All along the way my spirit, my soul, has rattled and banged and slugged through it all with me. We have aged, we’ve added a few dings, a few more wrinkles, a little more gray … and I like to think, a good bit more wisdom.

Now, as I look ahead, I know there so much more yet to come. More joy, more adventure, more spirit, more love. Living Life with a heart wide open. Though none of us know exactly where the road ahead leads, or how long our journey here will be, my “List” has been written and I know this will be a most excellent year. And as my father would say, “Make it so, Sweetheart, make it so….”

 

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